I do not know what to do; my mind is divided.... I cannot choose whether one choice is best for me or another. I do not know what the future holds but I am quite certain that I will have many adventures to come if I just let go and lose all my inhibitions. I want stability and safety and the usual routine of a good day in a good part of town. But many times I've heard that security and stability is nothing but an illusion. I'm told that in order to get what you want, you have to not plan everything and take life for what it is.
I am conflicted because I can meticulously plan up to the smallest detail, then either procrastinate and not do anything or begin the project and never finish. Routine is expected in my life but when I get into the motions of living a schedule I get bored. What I want changes so frequently I often look rather ficker about my decisions. The problem is that I am not ficker but that I will look at every option so closely that I will decide something isn't good for me even before I try it. Now this can be a good thing but on occasion I find this mindset or basic function very limiting and damnit if I change my mind on something else one more time I will explode..
