The Pregnancy Debate

Should I or Shouldn't I? That is the question!!! 



      Regardless of how much or how little your government and society would like to take full control of your reproductive organs, I believe women (at least in first world countries such as the United States and most of the West) both young and middle aged should have complete control over their autonomy.  That includes but aren't limited to whether or not they should have children, how many children they should give birth to and when that choice is made. I cannot figure out for the life of me why women still in the year of 2014 are getting "knocked up" with all of the medical advances in technology and science. Pills, surgery, condoms, patches and all the like primary goal is to prevent pregnancies but  still we have these women who get pregnant and end up on welfare because of it. Sometimes knowing full well they and their children will be dependent on it for the rest of their life's.

     My issue is that getting pregnant is a choice. A life long decision that affects you forever until you or unfortunately your child dies. I do not believe there is a such thing as mistakenly getting pregnant. You had sex, you might very well have had sex without a condom. You, being a woman, know the full repercussion to sex without wearing any protection. You know the odds are that you can get pregnant.

     And if you are one who do not want to get pregnant the odds were  actually stacked up against you in the first place. I grow frustrated when I see young women not taking responsibility for their own actions. They aren't taken account for what they did and did not do nor do they show any bearings of their making. As the years go by I see my close and estrange friends continually making the same bad decisions which are to have children when they are unmarried and young. Face the facts children need two parents in the same home regardless of gender.

      Children growing up in a single parent household are depraved of the joys of having two loving parents that enrich their lives. I don't want to recount some honey sweet story about a single mom doing it all and raising highly successful children who are wonderful members of society. Such stories as that does exist but not nearly in the numbers as those children born to crack/heroin addicted mothers who drop out of high school and go to jail in droves. Let's face it, the young single mothers cycle is a lose/lose situation where almost no one wins. For these children growing up in these conditions it is very hard for them to overcome the uphill battle they face.

       Not to be too harsh, to me, it's a stupid decision. And again I say a decision because just as easily is it to have sex without a condom it could have been just as easy to put on a condom, choose abstinence or used any other form of birth control. I am not here to condemn anyone. I just want to talk some sense into these women who make such life altering quick decisions. I understand to a point. Everything seems fun when your young and carefree, the younger you are the more probable you are to make snap decisions that can cost you in the long run. I feel getting pregnant at eighteen up to twenty four is one of those decisions. I just want to talk sense into people who engage in these risky choices. 

       I believe only healthy, responsible adults should have sex since they are the only grouping of people who are physically, mentally and emotionally ready for sex in all of it's forms. Sex in it's truest, rawest form isn't detrimental or sloppy or gross. It is nice, it is rough, it is gentle, it is natural, invigorating, fun, and relaxing. It is something two people in a monogamous relationship or five people in a orgy do out of love or fun or sexual exploration. Sex happens in a multiple marriage or in open relationships where all parties are fully aware of all precautions and joys of the act they will be participating in. 

     Sometimes I wonder if these young women truly get it. Most times these very women grew up in fatherless single parent households. Why can't they see that they inadvertently are 
throwing away their life's? Some less sensitive people just chalk it all up to laziness and low intelligence. Do they not understand their mother's plight? Do they not understand that they are matrons of the state and that welfare is in their near future? Maybe they do not care. And then to that I say I do not care as well. There are no solutions for them.

Let’s pose a question: What if?

What if yesterday I allowed fear to hold me back from placing my four original poetry into Ms. Lisa Shaw’s bin outside of her office door? I may win this contest, I may not. Only time will tell but I did take a risk. If I do not win this contest I will take another and then another and then another. I will keep getting my work out any way I know how. You cannot allow fear to hold you back. One of my favorite quotes was presented to me by an old Disney movie Akeelah and the Bee.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” _ Marianne Williamson

The two first verse were present in the movie, and those two lines were amazing. I loved the scene between Akeelah and her mentor, Dr. Larabee, it was so inspirational to me, as was the entire story. I am thoroughly glad to have seen that movie. Fear is what holds us back. Fear is what holds me back from greatness. The fear to succeed, the fear to fail, the fear of life.

Call Me a Woman. Not a Female!!!

When I hear someone refer to an adult woman or young girl as female. My skin begins to crawl. I am overly disgusted by the word when used in that context. It makes me think the person believe women are nothing more than female dogs. The word female usually have some type of negative meaning attach to it when used in regular conversation. Which to me, starts to have a negative connotation. I’m fine with bubbling female on a college form. But do NOT call me a female. 

That is my sex that is my gender but that isn't me in entirety. I absolutely am repulsed at stereotypes (they may be funny in some ways) but overall are detrimental to everyone involved. I simply despise female myths, gender norms and stereotypes the most, because it is one of the biggest insults that make me gag. The fact of the matter is: Do Not Call Me a Female. I am a woman, a lady or Kelly. 

You can call me any of those three without leading to assault. Well I've seen some misogynist use the word woman and lady against women but their argument were always faulty and blew up in their faces. I digress, women as much as men can be misogynist so I am talking to you, LADIES out there as well.

#WordsMatter

#WORDSMATTER and impact our lives.

 I was having a discussion on YouTube as I usually do, I love conversing right before or after watching a nice enjoyable video, when I came across one of the many mean ridiculous comments. The link to the video: Ban Bossy -I'm Not Bossy. I'm the Boss. https://www.youtube.com/watchv=6dynbzMlCcw J 

This commentator believed that women in America shouldn't care about “harmless” issues that do not affect the American people as much as say poverty levels and health care. Just because American women might have more rights than women in the Sudan or Saudi Arabia does not mean women in America should just stop fighting for equal rights or for more freedom. That is such a stupid notion to even presume. The fact of the matter is that small problems leads to big problems. Such a “small” insignificant problem like this will grow and become disastrous as seen in every day “free” society. 

He or she believed calling a little girl bossy isn't a problem.  That the word BOSSY wasn't a problem word. But it is and the word hypothetically should be banned. Why, you ask? Because the word bossy leans in to other words these little girls will hear throughout her life. Bitch, hoe, slut, whore, cunt are only a few words that will be used to degrade, to dismantle and eradicate the self-esteem of them. This was the conversation I had with him.

Akantor77: watching this video and reading the comments i can only think of MURICA



Me: What's that supposed to mean?

Akantor77: complaining about a word, where they have a huge problem with the weapon loby and the heath system

Me: #WORDSMATTER and impact our lives.

Me: Telling a little girl she's bossy will have an adverse effect on her long time wise. She will stop raising her hand in class to speak, she will avoid leadership roles and positions, and she will doubt herself. Because girls aren't meant to lead. <- Sarcasm, did you catch that? I was that girl and many of my peers where and might still be that girl. I am a freshmen college student I will try not to be that girl because I have no excuse. My college president is a beautiful woman. 

My club adviser is a beautiful woman. My student government president is a beautiful young woman, women can be great leaders because I see it every day. I live it. I breathe it. I am a leader. Now this self-doubt or perpetual cycle doesn't happen with every girl or woman but a good many. Think before you speak, the issue is way deeper than what you think it is.

What I would like to ask him or her is, who will fight for other people’s injustices, if you do not care? If no one cared? People who do not fight stands in the way of people who do. If you’re not part of the conversation/solution than you are part of the problem. #BanBossy

Rocky Balboa's inspirational speech

                                                                                                    

      Rocky’s speech to his son was very inspirational. There was a point in the iconic film when I felt Rocky’s emotion as he explained to his son that cowards blame others for their failures. Instead of taking the blame and rectifying the situation the son blamed his father for all of his down falls and for his boss treating him badly.  One of the things that resonates with me is when Rocky explained that life isn’t sweet, nice and perfect. That life, in fact, is cruel and will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. 

I also was blown away by this strong statement, “You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life, but it isn't about how hard you can hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward, that’s how winning is done!!!”

I love that part because, I've been told this in not so many words. Being a sensitive person with a enormous heart, I definitely have learned this in the most awkward of situations. I still have to realize that life isn't going to just hand me over “the prize." Meditation force me to realize I was not going to get the good life if it meant I would be sitting on my butt not doing anything to get to where I need to go.  I've seen time and time again that I wasn't going to be treated like a princess just because I wanted to be. I have recognized that, if you want something you have to go and get it. This video was a nice reflection of the life lessons I will continuously have to remember.

Results from Career Planning: Interest Profiler

      My top interest areas are investigative and social. With investigative, I am a “thinker”. I enjoy observing, learning and evaluating. I can say that sounds a lot like me aside from, the statement: “You often use science and math in problem solving.” I try to stay away from math as much as I can since I’m not so good in that area. But there’s a lot in science that interest me and that I enjoy. So I would say that statement is partially true.

     The other interest area is social, I am a helper. I enjoy assisting people in various ways. Which sounds like me as well. If I know how to help, have the ability to help and have the opportunity, I do. My career results were very typical. I knew I would get a lot of careers in the health science-medical field because that is the exact field I think I would like to pursue but at this point that can changed.

     I was half surprise when I saw Anesthesiologist among the other sixty nine choices. One of the careers I’m contemplating with is being a Peri-anesthesia Nurse after I become a Registered Nurse. Actually Registered Nurse was one of the options that popped up in the list. Which, made me glad that the quiz thought I align great with this profession and reinforce what I already thought about nursing. I believe being a Registered Nurse would be a good career for me because I get similar experiences as a doctor would without all the years a doctor have to go through to become certified.

     I also like the pay of a Registered Nurse, which in Florida is sixty four thousand, eight hundred fifty-four. I appreciate that Registered Nurses have the ability to move up in their field and even have areas of expertise. Another medical profession that appeared on the list was a Nurse Practitioner, which is a practical direction for me to go down, especially since I would like to become a Registered Nurse. In order to be a Nurse Practitioner I would have to pursue a Master’s degree, which isn't particularly bad. But I would rather get a bachelor degree first, enter into the work field and then finish my education instead of being in school for six maybe eight years straight. Occupations I won’t likely be interested in anytime in the near future are an animal trainer or an oral surgeon. 

     I love animals which is probably the reason why animal trainer was an option on the list. But I do not want to work with animals in my profession, maybe as a personal hobby I would be an animal trainer or dog walker. And I’m not in the least interested in being an Oral Surgeon, the pay in Florida looks wonderful at a hundred and eighty-one thousand, six hundred and eighty eight dollars a year. After looking at the full list Dietitian/Nutritionist and Anthropologist has peaked my interest. What I don’t understand is that Anthropologist have to have a Master’s degree but only get paid fifty-five thousand, seven hundred forty four dollars. If I had to get a Master’s to be a part of a career field I believe I should get paid in the hundred thousand with room to move up to a higher position and with specialization.

      I read on a website article that, “Anthropologists tackle big human problems, such as overpopulation, warfare, and poverty.” Which I believe to be a cool and respected career choice. To be able to impact humanity in such a way is inspiring and a big choice if I ever decide to go down that route. The Bureau of Labor Statistics define Dietitians and nutritionists as experts in food and nutrition. They advise people on what to eat in order to lead a healthy lifestyle or achieve a specific health-related goal. 

      This career resonates with me because of one of the reasons I would like to go into the health field, is to help people with their life styles and diet. With all these professions in mind I see my college journey being a lot more interesting as I realize which profession I would truly like to be apart of by the time I transfer from Miami Dade College.

Transitioning From high school to college

So you've made the epic journey from high school to college. Congratulations!! For some of you this particular journey may have been difficult while for others it was nothing more than a piece of cake. I see you now wear the College Freshman badge of honor. Wear it proudly but remember, do not boast. Hundreds of thousands of others have been right here at this crucial cross section where you are now. Your new voyage begins now since you have made the walk from child to young adult.

You have only been in college for a few months and you have already had your fair share of hurdles and bumps in the road. Maybe you made a common Freshman mistake by unwisely registering for classes late, giving you no room to choose your own schedule and professors, which for you was mistake number one. You could have even chose to accept advice that was not so sound about a problem class of yours. Despite your gut instinct to not change a class, you felt that your decision was deemed necessary to further your future at Miami Dade College. And afraid you might come up short, you inevitably took the guidance given and changed one of your classes. This in turn created a domino effect on your whole schedule, making it look dramatically different.

And even with all of this mess you've found out you've created, more trouble was yet to come. I know what comes after these detail of events. "Because of what you thought to be trusted advice, that turned out to be just as bad as a rotten apple, your whole schedule changed."Am I right? Originally all of your classes were covered by financial aid, but with that one little change you, the helpless Freshman, that you would have to come up with your own money to pay for a class. So keeping all that in mind you sucked up my pride, owned up to your mistake and buckled up for a whole new experience. Let me guess?

What you learned quickly is that in college you have to pay for everything, whether by financial aid or out of pocket, everything is money oriented and everything is expensive: books, classes and fees. Yep that pretty much sounds like college alright. In high school, especially public schools, the school already issues you books or your parents had to pay for a sixty dollar hard cover that would last you the whole year in that one class. You just didn't have to worry about buying multiple books for multiple classes in a short period of time. Now have you learned your lesson yet? Well, good! Do not let this stressful experience deter you from finding a good role model during your college experience. Nor should you let it discourage you from taking risks and sticking to your guns.

Now that you've seen the errors of your ways I will give you three game plans to further your success as a College Freshman, not only will you be able to keep these tips for Freshman year but throughout out your stay in college and long after. One of my first strategies for you is to seek out an older more mature individual from the Mentoring Program at the college or university you attend. Hopefully you'll choose to be at Miami Dade College for your first two years. Since you might not have had that significant guidance at your high school, this choice may even push you ahead to succeed in your future career. You should look forward to receiving advice from a trusted source that has your very best interest at heart and wants nothing but the best for you in your future endeavors.

Since you may have never had a mentor before, you should open your mind up to see this experience as something, fresh and new. This will be one of your first but not last new experiences in college I’m sure. You should begin getting in the mind frame of college as a whole new world where opportunities are abundant. In college the resources are not only plentiful but almost endless. In high school there were always some kind of restrictions from achieving what you set out to do.  Right now it is vital that you focus and keep your eyes on the prize because you are now closer than you have ever been to your dreams and aspirations. In fact so close that you can almost touch it. Now in college your professors and new peers see you as an adult, a stark contrast to life in high school when you had teachers that babied you and your classmates to the highest degree.

They carried your classmates and perhaps yourself, along without much enthusiasm, merely passing along students who did not care. Perhaps the administration was the most patronizing, they may be treated the students like children. And you've notice although there were some teachers that babied their students, there were some that actually cared. In college there’s no middle man holding a student’s hand nor is there any one screaming down students’ throats. A student has different choices they can pick.  They can either come to class and learn or not come to class, do no work and fail the class.

And unlike high school where if you fail a class you have to pay out of pocket for said class. So I have decided that planning both my short term and long term goals in a reasonable time frame, is essential to my success in college. My second strategy for you will be time management, I have seen both in my senior year in high school and my Freshman year in college that time management is essential for everyone's overall sanity as a college student. Whenever I had gotten lazy no one could get me to do anything. Not homework, classwork or quizzes, all I want to do is bundle up and go to sleep. With this type of thinking I have majorly affected myself whenever I needed assignments to be completed.

For instance, in my virtual Music class there were a list of assignments that must be completed during an assigned time period. For part three of chapter nine I was so lazy and run down I didn't even attempt to do any of the work. My grade went down from a high A to a D. If I had managed my time more effectively I wouldn't have felt over stressed and skipped my assignments. My grade would have stayed an A and I wouldn't have had to ask my professor for makeup work. Time management and the way you choose what’s important in your life will be a huge factor in how smooth the rest of your Freshman year goes.

When in my senior year of high school, I could slip by with my careless time management skills, and get away with it. I found out quickly that in college I won’t be able to get by with these types of choices and neither can you. College is just too fast paced and advanced for you to slack off and try to make up work. With all this in mind I came up with my third strategy for you, which is to use math labs and tutors as a tool during your two years at Miami Dade College.  If you know you’re not the best at math, to be able to keep up in your math class, you might want to decide to ask for some extra assistance in order to pass the class. Plan days when you have free time to go met up with a math tutor.

You could create these free time periods around your class schedule. A goal to remember is to go before and after classes start. Creating a relationship with a math tutor that can connect with you will be a huge advantage you have over your peers. It can aid you in your assignments and will be beyond beneficial in your two years college journey at Miami Dade College. You really are ambitious, you have dealt with schedule changes, financial aid problems, misguided advice and a huge list of books you had to pay for in your very first year. So on and make me proud. You are now interested in the Mentoring Program, getting assistance from math tutors in the math labs and figuring out a way to manage your time effectively and efficiently.  Using the many resources available at Miami Dade College and keeping time management in mind, I predict that the rest of your two years will include many advantages and opportunities to your future education journey _KM